Movie Mom of the month...Jenny Fields

...and Roberta Muldoon. Both from The World According To Garp. Both friends. Two pieces of a perfect whole. I can't have one without the other. Actually, Roberta might have been the perfect mom on her own...only, she's not a mom. Oh, she might have adopted in another time, another place. But let's face it...in the seventies, a single woman couldn't adopt a baby, much less a woman who was once a linebacker for the Philadelphia Eagles!

 Garp is not a perfect movie by any stretch. But it does boast two of the most perfect female characters ever to grace film. Glenn Close as Jenny Fields should have walked away from the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion toting an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. She is...sublime. She is Jenny. It is her best work. And they gave it to Jessica Lange for Tootsie. A role any number of actresses could have played, and not a good mother at all, I might add! 

John Lithgow plays Roberta Muldoon. He is perfection. You will want to take him home to raise your children if you have them, or just to raise you! Roberta is pure love, and loyalty, and literally, a tower of strength.  

Roberta is the mom we want.  The most traditionally feminine, and the most nurturing character in the film. 

Interestingly, she spent the first half of her life, as a man.  

Jenny Fields...mother of T.S.Garp....is, well, different.  Some people might even think she had a personality disorder.  But, if Roberta is the mom we want, then Jenny must be the dad.  Stoic, calm, watching over her fledglings without possesiveness, walking through life without jealousy,  without bitterness and anger.  She is the mountain that sits on the porch swing and waits for all to come to her.  She is seemingly without fear.  Serene.  What a gift, huh?  

So, the mother I'd like to be, in this case...is Jenny Fields.  Unapologetic for her individualism. Living her life without feminine or masculine stereotype.  She is simply Jenny Fields.  She has pure and unconditional love for her children, and is able to express that without spooning on the guilt, the fear, the "prove its".   I also like the big house by the water with enough room for everyone to come and hang out!  You see why she's sitting on the porch swing smiling?  

But, Jenny must have just enough Roberta mixed in for when it's time to climb a tree, or give a big sloppy hug.  It's like Milton the Monster...just a touch of tenderness!

The World According To Garp does not have a lot of photos or video on the internet...so, I'm kinda stuck here.  But, see the movie.  It's a worthwhile investment.  And I'll leave you with a quote from Jenny.

Mother to son...
"You know, everybody dies. My parents died. Your father died. Everybody dies. I'm going to die too. So will you. The thing is, to have a life before we die. It can be a real adventure having a life."  

Do, Marry, Push...courtesy of Valley Dreaming

So, JD over at Valley Dreaming..see linkage...asks the question, who would you, ahem..."do", who would you marry, and who would you push off a cliff?

I've made two lists...one for those who like men, and another for those who prefer women.

So, who would you do, marry or push?  You have to chose from one of my lists!  

I like men...

Robert Downey Jr.

Ryan Gosling

Colin Farrell

Or...

I prefer women...

Penelope Cruz

Rosario Dawson

Charlize Theron

I tried not to make this too easy.  

Since I like men...I pick

Do...Colin Farrell

Marry...Robert Downey Jr.

and as much as I hate to...I have to push Ryan! 

You have to push someone.  

Your turn...bitch slap me!

I'm sorry...I'm really sorry...

This is absolutely disgusting.  Weak heart...don't watch.  Although, it's pretty damn funny. I mean, what the Sam Hill are those people at One Tree Hill thinking? Don't hold this against James Lafferty, he's just on the show. He's really a sweet guy and a good actor. But...oh my God.



P.S. Love me some Joel Mchale!

Do you think I care about the NCAA?

Hells yeah! Go Heels!

I'll be back later. I have been working on location, and now I'm working on some ideas at home. Big plans are brewing.
And did I say this already? Go Heels!

Friday Night Netflix...Frozen River

This is absolutely frightening.  Scarier then Jason, Freddie or Mike Myers.  Seriously.  I was so damn nervous watching this movie about two women repeatedly driving a car across a frozen river, that I was positively beside myself.  Do you think this sounds like a personal problem?  You could be right.

This is not an easy little movie.  And, it certainly has it's faults.  But, it is a promising first film for screenwriter/Director Courtney Hunt...a woman, yes.  I can't tell you how nice it was to watch a film that has an honest to God female perspective.  

 

Melissa Leo plays Ray Eddy. Her performance garnered Leo a Best Actress Oscar nomination this year.  There's no doubt she belonged in the group of nominees, but I doubt she was ever in danger of winning.  She's great.  But, the character is....difficult.  And by that I mean....complicated.  And by that I mean...she's not likable.  Except when she is.  I mean, she didn't get to the store on time to buy her son a Christmas present!  Although, it was because she was out trying to make enough money to buy him a house.  Okay, let's face it, Ray has been dealt a fucked up hand of cards, and she is damn sure not going to fold without a fight. Ray is hard as nails, and like I imagine most women would be in her circumstances, tired of taking "no" for an answer.

I know, you think you've seen this already. It does sound familiar.  But, no, I don't remember seeing Ray Eddy before, or, for that matter, her literal partner in crime, Lila.  

Lila is Mohawk.  A native American who lives in a camper on the reservation.  Lila holds a shitty hand too.  But, for different reasons.  She lost her husband to the river. Yes, that very same frozen river.  You see, Lila is a smuggler.  An illegal alien smuggler on that other border that we don't talk about much.  Lila and her husband made regular runs across the river into Canada, where, after loading a couple of Chinese or Pakastani people into the trunk, they drove them back into the United States.  Until, one night, while her husband made a run without her, the ice cracked and Lila's husband went down with the ship...so to speak.

Lila has lost more then just her husband. The baby she delivered after the death of her husband has also been taken from her. Lila is almost numb.  The occasional glimpse of her child, seemingly, the only thing keeping her going.  While Lila still mourns her lost man, Ray would have been better off if her husband had drowned.  But, no, he just took off with every penny they had.  Leaving her to feed their two sons on popcorn and Tang.  She's not going to lie down and whimper.  She's going after what life owes her come hell or...high water.    

When fate brings these two together, you just wonder which one is going to kill the other one first.  What happens instead is the heart of the film.  It's what happens when two women, who may be polar opposites, recognize each other.  Both mothers now become willing to sacrifice themself, to save the other.

I might have given this film a C+, but for giving me a relationship between two women that didn't involve shopping, lunching, dating, wondering if he's into you, wedding dresses, or Manolo Blahnik shoes, I'm going to give it a B-.  And I'll look forward to more to come, from Courtney Hunt.

Three Stooges and Woodstock

Today a probable cast was announced for the Farrelly Brothers' new Three Stooges biopic. 

First of all, where is my Photoshop? John, man, I need that Photoshop! What more perfect time to transfer people's heads to other people's bodies? Because, then you see, I could have posted a picture of Sean Penn, Benecio Del Toro and Jim Carrey's collective heads on the bodies of Larry, Moe, and Curly!

Yes, you heard that right. Penn will star as Larry, Del Toro as Moe and Carrey is said to be gaining 40 pounds to play Curly.
This brings me to my second of all. I have never seen the internet go so bat shit crazy over a casting announcement. People are pissed man! I have to admit, my first reaction was right up there with the collective. The last time I remember Penn being funny was Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Am I wrong? And my God...Benecio Del Toro? The Wolfman? (no, really, he's playing the Wolfman)

But, here's the thing. It's a biopic, not a reshoot of a Stooges' movie. From what I understand, these guys were plenty fucked up. And dark. And fucked up. Did I say that already? So, now it begins to make more sense. Possibly this could lead to Jim Carrey's first Oscar nomination. He already deserved two. Maybe this time they'll even let him walk away with it. What's stopping him? Oh yeah. It's a Farrelly brothers' film.

Second big thing to hit the web today...the trailer for the Ang lee directed Taking Woodstock. It looks like it could be good. Imelda Staunton and Eugene Levy together....gotta love. I would really appreciate it though, if it would be great. I have spent four years of my life developing a film set in 1970. One damn year after Woodstock. Maybe, oh maybe, there will be a renewed interest in the time? Down side of this? All the music I already picked for my film? Yeah...played at Woodstock, pretty much.  There goes my soundtrack.

Taking Woodstock opens August 14th.

Where The Wild Things Are

Let the wild rumpus begin!



Maurice Sendak, Spike Jonze. Who's excited?

Scenes I Love...Hook

When Dustin Hoffman is good...he is so very, very good.  And, when he is bad....yes, he is naughty.  Very, very good Hoffman includes The Graduate, Marathon Man, Midnight Cowboy, Little Big Man,  Tootsie and Hook.  No, I didn't really like Rainman, although it is very fun to quote, and I know this will shock you, but Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, was very naughty of Hoffman.  

Bob Hoskins...always very, very good.  Can't think of anything bad.  Trying...nope, nothing.  Hoskins was very hot for awhile.  He first came to my attention in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  Everyone fell in love with Hoskins, after Roger.  Hoskins played a gruff, all-American, cigar smoking, root-beer drinking gumshoe with a heart of gold.   I ran to check out Hoskins in another film, Mona Lisa, an amazing indie film directed by Neil Jordan pre-Crying Game.  I was shocked to learn Hoskins was British.  

Hook is called Hook for a reason.  Yes, Robin Williams is the actual star as a grown Peter Pan returning to Neverland.  But, what is this film without Captain Hook? And what is Captain Hook without Smee?  Indeed, without these two, this film would have sunk like a cannon ball into the Mermaid lagoon.

 My children can quote this scene word for word.  I just love it, and I love Hoffman's subtle comedy...yes, I think it's subtle!  If Johnny Depp was Oscar nom'ed for Pirates Of The Caribbean, Hoffman should have won for this.  "Don't try to stop me Smee".

Silence Of The Lambs, the musical....with Legos

Ha!  Some people are just so creative. Or crazy. Or both.

Coens meet Rooster Cogburn

The Coen Brothers' are set to write and direct a remake of the John Wayne classic True Grit.  This is the film that won John Wayne an Oscar.   Of course, Peter O'Toole should have won that year for The Lion In Winter...but, that's another story entirely.

It looks like the new version of Grit, will follow the book more faithfully.  The story evolves through the eyes of Mattie, a fourteen year old girl out for revenge.  

I don't know about you, but I'm psyched to see what Ethan and Joel will do with this one. 

 And the big question of the day?  Who will play Rooster?  Please speculate!

Friday Night Netflix

Tonight I watched Rachel Getting Married again, because my husband hadn't seen it. If you haven't seen it yet....don't wait another minute. This is filmmaking at it's best. My husband was blown away, and it only got better the second time for me. How this film avoided multiple Oscar nominations is beyond me.  Kate, you are great...but, my vote would have gone to Hathaway.  I would be a seriously good Academy member...because, I don't even like her, yet I would have voted for her. She gave the best performance.  Nailed it, she did.  

Wolverine...excited or not?

I learned all about the X-Men one summer while I was staying in Wrightsville Beach with my, then, 9 year old son. He had an X-Men board game, and we played every day. My son would show me each individual character piece and tell me about their special mutant powers. My favorite was Jubilee. His favorite, was and is Gambit. He's an actor now. A tall good looking actor who would have made a perfect Gambit. He's gonna be pissed when he sees this trailer.

Wolverine, for those who may not know, is the soon to be released spin-off of the popular X-Men films. The Wolverine trailer just came online today. I can't say I found much of it terribly exciting. But, it doesn't look absolutely awful either. I like Hugh Jackman a lot. I liked him best in the first film. Maybe he's lost some of his edge with his age? Or maybe he lost it somewhere else. Dunno. I'd like to see more of it in this film. Liev Schriever looks great though! Love him anyway, but, it looks like he could slam dunk this. I wonder, though, why Ryan Reynolds' Deadpool wasn't in the trailer? I also wonder why the women in this look so homogenous and forgettable? I wonder why they cast that Friday Night Lights kid as Gambit? Even in that milli-second of trailer time, he looked a bit bland. I wonder why producers never learn that casting great actors is always the best move? 

I wonder why it's raining in southern California?

Hal Holbrook's first

That Evening Sun won the Audience Award for Best Narrative film, and the Best Ensemble Award at the South By Southwest, aka SXSW, film festival in Austin last week. 

I bring this up for two reasons. First of all, a friend of mine produced this film and she is one of the nicest people in this town. She is going to make it big without screwing anyone over, and by being a genuine person. Mark my words, it can be done. I got to see the film at a screening before it was finished.  I have to say, if handled right, the film's star, Hal Holbrook, could be in for an Oscar nomination.

This brings up the second reason...surprisingly, this is Holbrook's first film lead. He remarked on it himself, that this was the first time he was the star of a movie. He did it up right too, because I think he is in every frame of the film...or close to it. He's really terrific. He's also another of the nicest people in this business.

If karma has anything to do with it...this film should do well. No release date yet.

Tragic news

Natasha Richardson has died from injuries sustained in a skiing accident. The family is, understandably, devastated.

She was 45 years old. 

Unbelievable sadness. My heart goes out to her entire family.

And Away We Go!

I've been waiting for this trailer!

Sam Mendes' Away We Go, starring Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski! 

That's the beauty of having a star Director. You can actually get your film made without having to cast mediocre movie stars that are totally wrong for the roles...like, this could have been Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman! Oh God no, right? Well, stay tuned, Natalie Portman and Brad Pitt just signed to a film together. But, that's another story for a later time.

Right now, I'm celebrating that Mendes was able to cast two people who actually look like two people shopping at my local Trader Joe's. Strike that, I live in Hollywood. They look like two people shopping at The Gap in Baltimore.

I also think they are both pretty winning, and, apart from the Juno-esque cartoon credit thing-ys, this film looks charming, and sweet, and funny in a non-Judd Apatow sort of way.

Jeff Daniels, Allison Janney, Catherine O'Hara and Maggie Gyllenhaal are also in this movie.

I'm excited. Away We Go opens June 5th.

What a world

I never, in a million years, thought I would be the one to say this...but, can we just leave Lindsay Lohan the fuck alone already?

I know she brought a lot of this on herself at the beginning.  Enjoyed it, flaunted it, whatever.  But, the girl is obviously self-destructive.  Why do we take so much glee in that?  Those people with the cameras in her face, just step off already.  

Seriously, lately she's been looking like she's about a month away from walking into an off-duty hair salon, and shaving her head.  Daddy says she's in a "toxic relationship". Ya think?  I'm not blaming either girl...but, when there are police sitting outside your house and the neighbors can't sleep, when objects are flying through the windows, and you're spending all your money on cocaine, redbull, weird hats and leggings, it's time for someone to take you by the hand.  Honey, this is not what a loving relationship should look like.  Okay?  

Ron Silver 1946 - 2009

Actor and political activist Ron Silver, 62, died Sunday after a battle with cancer, reports the NY Post:
"Ron Silver died peacefully in his sleep with his family around him this morning," said Robin Bronk, executive director of the Creative Coalition, which Silver helped create.
"He had been fighting esophageal cancer for two years and his family is making arrangements for a private service."

I don't know how many of the young 'uns know Ron Silver, but he was a pretty big star in his day.  Strangely, I just yesterday asked someone what ever happened to Ron Silver?  Nobody knew.  Here's a bit of education.

Ron Silver was born on July 2, 1946. He grew up on Manhattan's Lower East Side, and attended Stuyvesant High School. After graduating from the University of Buffalo with a degree in Spanish and Chinese, he received his master's degree in Chinese History from St. John's University and the College of Chinese Culture in Taiwan. Before turning to acting, he flirted with doing intelligence work. He took acting lessons while working on his masters degree.

Silver was known as an intense, electrifying stage and film actor; for his performance in David Mamet's Broadway play Speed-The-Plow he won the Tony and Drama Desk awards. He also appeared on Broadway in "Hurlyburly" and "Social Security." In addition, he starred in two one-man shows, "And..." and "Bill Graham Presents." A dedicated political activist, Silver was a vocal supporter of environmental and anti-nuclear organizations. In 1988, he founded The Creative Coalition, a political action group calling for the involvement of artists in pressing social issues, and served on their Advisory Board.

He was also an early supporter of Gay rights, women's equality...and strangely, George Bush.   

Rest In Peace, Ron.

Return Of The Musical?

I'm not talking about that God awful musical number at this years Oscars.  You remember...the one with Beyonce?  No, I am talking about the for reals, genuine return of the musical.  

Two years ago, we had Hairspray, Dreamgirls, Across the Universe and Once all in the same season.  Last year we saw Mamma Mia, a very poorly directed and questionably acted film, beat Titanic's box office record in the UK.  Oh yeah, and there's that High School Musical thing.  This year, we're anticipating the release of Nine sometime during Oscar season.  Color me skeptical on that one.  Daniel Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren?  All singing?   I dunno.  Rob Marshall directs...also, a little scary.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Jim Carey are set to star in a Damn Yankees remake.  I think these guys will be good...but, who are they gonna get to play Lola?  Those are some damn big dancing shoes to fill.  They better do it right. 

 There's also a rumor that Keira Knightley will be singing in a remake of My Fair Lady sometime in the near future. Um, okay...I've heard Knightley sing. Maybe Marni Nixon is still around?  You know, Nixon famously dubbed the singing voices of Audrey Hepburn, Natalie Wood and Deborah Kerr.  Now, everyone name the films!  

Also, we have pre-production on Wicked.  Exciting! Wicked was a huge Broadway success, that takes on the story of Glinda, the good witch and Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West.  A prequel to The Wizard Of Oz, this has some killer songs and fantastic roles for two women who can sing, baby!  Thinking about Wicked, actually, is what prompted me to write this post.  Nathanial, over at Film Experience...look under linkage...was addressing the question of casting for the new film version of Wicked!  The cool thing is...there are a few young film actresses who could actually cut the mustard. Anne Hathaway, for example,  has proven that she has Broadway pipes.  Although, I find her, rather blandish, she certainly has the star power and the ability to take on either role.  

Now, if we head to the east coast, we see workshops and new Broadway musicals being born out of Hollywood.  This is not new.  We've seen our share of movie based disasters here...Young Frankenstein, Tarzan, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels...and winners...The Producers, The Lion King, Billy Elliot.

Now,  I just read where Kristen Bell is workshopping a new Heathers musical, and as we already know, Evan Rachel Wood is set to topline Julie Taymor's new Spiderman musical.  I haven't any idea how they'll pull of a Heathers musical, but, if they do...how awesome will that be?  Kristen Bell is a great choice too.  She is a NYU, Tisch School of the Arts graduate.  The real thing.  And as far as Spiderman goes, wow.  It will be like going to a musical circus.  I also think Wood is perfect for Mary Jane, with her girl next door looks, and rebellious edge.  Plus, once again, girlfriend can sing.  Actually, now that I think about it...the perfect cast for Wicked is right there.  Kristen Bell and Evan Rachel Wood.   Settled.

I'll just leave you with this. The funniest woman working, Kristin Chenowith as Glinda, and Idina Menzel as Elphaba in the Broadway production of Wicked.

Friday Night Netflix...Pineapple express

My advice? Get stoned before you watch this movie, I mean like, really wasted, because....it's really not that funny.  This is the movie two 17 year old boys would make if they had 20 million to spend. Or maybe...this is the film Quentin Tarantino would have made when he was 12 if he'd had 20 million to blow. Or, the Coen Brothers might have made this when they were 10 if...well, you know. 

Everything about this film, starting with the script,  just...didn't rise to the occasion somehow.  I expected a lot more from David Gordon-Green, a director I think is a real talent.  I really have liked all of his other films.  This one, well, it looked like it was a lot of fun to make.

Thank You Jon Stewart

What is going on here when the most honest, provocative and in your face journalism on television is coming from Comedy Central? As Jon Stewart himself has said, he'll be happy to go back to being a comedian making fart noises and stupid jokes. But, until the rest of the journalistic world get's off their scared little butts and starts to ask the tough questions...thank God for Stewart.

Please, watch Jon Stewart's interview with Jim Cramer.  Cramer is a high profile television host of the show Mad Money, who famously hawked Bear Stearns stock right before they went under. He includes video footage of Cramer glibbly remarking how they play around, have fun and entertain themselves with other people's money. All while we were sleeping soundly at night just knowing that our IRA's and 401K's were safe and sound. Cramer took the fun to the airwaves via his show Mad Money and told people what the bankers wanted us to hear. At one point Stewart tells him "I understand that you want to make finance entertaining, but it's not a fucking game." He was angry. We are angry. It's about time somebody made someone answer for their greed and power hungry choices. Now, if we can get some of these other pansy ass journalists to start behaving like journalists and not celebrities or politicians...we might get somewhere.

Cramer seemed contrite. Let's see if he changes his tune once he's back on NBC.   I hope Cramer isn't the only one who gets raked over the coals...he's certainly not the only one who deserves to. At least Cramer had the conjones to show up. Or did he just think a comedy show was gonna be fun?

The interview is too long to post here... you can watch the whole thing at Huffingtonpost.com or at Comedy Central.

But, for your immediate viewing pleasure...there's this...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

The Dow Knows All

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

The Education of Charlie Banks

Okay, this looks like the better of the Jesse Eisenberg releases. The Education Of Charlie Banks also stars Eva Amurri, who kicked ass in The Life Before Her Eyes  and is the daughter of Susan Sarandon. Expecting great things from Eva! Jesse Eisenberg and John Ritter's son Jason also star. Three young actors worth pulling for.

This film opens on March 27th in New York and Los Angeles.

Spoiler alert...scenes I love.

If you've never seen Some Kind Of Wonderful...what are you waiting for?  The best Mary Stuart Masterson, the best Eric Stoltz, and the best ending...or at least top ten...ever.  This is how Pretty in Pink should have ended.  This also the best Lea Thompson actually, playing the popular Miss Amanda Jones.  The girl every guy wants.  This is my favorite John Hughes script....and this clip spoils the ending, so, proceed with caution!

Adventureland trailer

Uh...this looks terrible. I don't understand why interviewers always say Kristen Stewart is discerning about the roles she takes. I think it is quite the opposite. The Messengers? In The Land Of Women? Zathura? Jumper? Twilight?  Well...I guess Twilight did make her a big star, but...I dunno. She seems like a good actress, maybe she should pass every now and then. I may be a snob, but I can't take anymore jacking off, drinking and naked girl jokes...I just can't. I am, however, impressed that the guy can climb out of a cold swimming pool with a "boner".  Jesse Eisenberg...brother of the Pepsi girl, 'member her, also stars in this pic. 

Anyway, this movie is opening soon....if you're interested.

American Idol?

So last night, I don't have a movie to watch, nothings on the tellie, and I don't feel like doing anything else....so, along with about 20 million other people in the country, I watched American Idol.  I'm not a fan.  But, I did make a couple of observations that I wanted to share with my loyal listeners.  

First of all Ryan Seacrest.  There has been a lot of shit said about Ryan Seacrest.  His mother must be on drugs to keep from storming the gates of every gossip blogger in town.  But, I think he's a decent guy.  Not only do I think he's a decent guy, I think he's smart as all hell, and has worked his ass off to get where he is.  This man has how many jobs?  At least three that I know of, and that's not counting the several shows he's producing.  He started out as a radio disc jockey in Raleigh, North Carolina for cryin' out loud, and now the man makes 35 million a year.  

I also noticed how genuine he was with the young girl who was tossed off the show last night.  A very talented young girl of 17, I believe.  She was visibly quite upset, and Seacrest was really comforting.  I dunno...smart and nice?  Angelina Jolie aside, most of the actors who talk to him on the red carpet, like him too.  So, two thumbs up for Ryan Seacrest.

The other thing I noticed was Kanye West.  I know I've gone here before, but, how could I not mention that his live performance last night on American Idol, would not have gotten him through to the next round.  If he was a contestant...he'd be out.  Actually, with that performance, he'd never have gotten on the show.  I watched two incredible singers get the boot, including that afore mentioned young girl.  I watched Mr. West's performance shoehorned in between them.  That 17 year old girl...blew him off the stage.

How did this guy get to be so famous?  Someone please tell me.  Seriously, I'd like to know. 

500 Days Of Summer

The big Fox Searchlight film for 2009. Picked it up at Sundance this year. Is this their fourth little indie that could? Coming soon...so, stay tuned.

Keanu Reeves' best role...

Joachin Phoenix when he was still called Leaf, and Diane Wiest is a Goddess.  Movie mom of the month, coming soon!

Vicky, Cristina and Juan Antonio

This is Cristina. A woman so fucking boring that even she thinks she's fucking boring. Maybe she would have been fucking boring anyway, but, she is also portrayed by Scarlett Johansson, a really fucking boring actress. So, I cared not a whit about anything to do with Cristina.  However, I will say, it is fascinating to watch her impossibly high-set, cantalope-esque breasts dominate each scene that she's in. Also, her kinda largish ass. I must admit, her body is mesmerizing. But, my God, she better take care of that asset, because I don't see her rounding the bend with anything else.

Here's Vicky and Cristina. Vicky is even more boring then Cristina. Rebecca Hall plays Vicky. Hall is a solid actress who was a stand out in The Prestige, as well as Frost/Nixon. She's usually someone I like to watch. Here, she was just another stupid ass, boring woman making stupid ass boring mistakes. Was I supposed to believe that Juan Antonio was her one true love? Oh please. For a movie that was supposed to be about sex, and passion and love and heat and craziness and living wild and whatever it was supposed to be about...wow....were these women stupid and boring.

But wait...Here's Juan Antonio. Now, I am beginning to understand why the women end up with each other. This guy is a real snooze-fest.  He's a smooth operator, no doubt. He knows how to move in, break the ice, and get the women in bed with him. But, after that? Well...apparently, he can paint. He's a tortured artist or something. He's completely uninteresting, and, outside of the bedroom...limp. Yes, I know that Javier Bardem is hot....looking.  But, oddly, there is no real heat coming off this man. Not here anyway. When he and Scarlett go in for, what seemed an eternity of close up kissing, it just makes you want to get it over with. It's not sexy, it's not hot, and it didn't make me want to kiss either one of them....ever. Yes, yes, I know...they don't want to kiss me either, but that's not the point. They're on the screen together. They're supposed to be my fantasy. But, it just looks like his beard is scratching her face, and he just looks like he's worried Penelope is gonna kick his ass if he enjoys it for a minute.  This big love scene is just...painful.

Finally, after sitting through half the movie wondering when it's going to be funny, or charming, or sexy...in walks Maria Elena.

Thank God for small favors, I say. Penelope Cruz won an Oscar for her role here, and I don't disagree. I think she's fantastic. She brings the hot. She brings the crazy. She brings the unpredictable, and the fantasy that makes you say...oh, I 'd like to do that! And when she says she is the one with the talent and that Juan Antonio stole from her...it's obvious that is true. She's a person ruled by her passion. I finally see someone up there I want to hang out with!

And it matters not if you think she's attractive, or not. She's a fierce woman. When she's not on screen...I'm picking my nose, or thinking about what's for dinner. I take issue with Woody on a lot of the film's problems, especially that narration. Who the hell is that supposed to be? Just some disembodied random voice? I hate that shit! But, also, the way he filmed Miss Cruz. Her work, really had to find it's way to us. She had some beauty shots, of course, but whenever Maria Elena really got crazy, or lost her cool...the camera seemed to fear getting too close. Damn, that's when I wanted to get a better look. It seemed Woody kept his distance during Penelope's most brilliant bits. Odd.

I'd have to give Vicky Christina Barcelona a C...sorry Woody. If it's any consolation, it was better then Scoop. Let's hope his next one is a return to the old Woody. I hear from the grapevine it's very funny. Whatever Works...coming in June.

Sing along

Hippo Birdy to me, Hippo Birdy to me, Hippo Birdy dear SallyBelle, Hippo Birdy to me!

Just past the halfway mark!

I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby.

That's the only thing I've plenty of, Baby.  Swoon.  I still miss these guys!  If you've never seen Bringing Up Baby...check it out. Cary Grant in a screwball comedy.  Heaven.  Also, check him out as Mortimer in Arsenic And Old Lace!  Love the man...and Kate ain't so bad either.

Phoenix, Bale, Independent Spirit Awards

I resisted this for weeks. But, I just ran into it again, and...it's funny. And since the Spirit Awards are irreverent to begin with...towards everyone...I did not find it completely offensive. I may still burn in Hell for laughing...but, at least I'll be in good company.

Sally Cristina Barcelona?

Today from Netflix, I finally received Vicky Cristina Barcelona.  The film had such a long wait, and as I was unwilling to buy, and wasn't able to get my hands on a screener...I have yet to watch this movie.  Even though I pulled for Penelope, and was happy when she won an Oscar for her role in the film.  

I'm bringing this up, because the timing...is interesting.  I also had the "pleasure" this morning, while listening to my favorite progressive radio station, to hear a clip from the Rush Limbaugh show. 

 In the clip, Rush was pontificating on the women's equality movement and what it meant to him.  Apparently, according to Rush, the women's movement was all about unattractive women finding a way to gain power in our society. Those bad unattractive, lesbian types!  How dare they fuck up our fabulous patriarchal society! 

 The thing is...I've been thinking a lot about my place in this society.  As an attractive straight woman, I wonder who fucked up and gave me the brain of a man?  Couldn't I watch Vicky Cristina Barcelona and decide, I too, wanted to have sex with Scarlett Johansson?  Maybe that would explain all these years of wanting to play baseball.  Of loving Die hard and The Godfather...and, if you can believe Judd Apatow...Back To The Future? Why do I cuss like a sailor, and hate to get dressed up for events and weddings?  Come to think of it...why do I hate weddings too?  Was I a lesbian that was only attracted to men?  Who's responsible for this screw up?  I can drive, I can parallel park even.  I can read a map, throw a football, operate a power saw, do math, drink beer and I like to have a good cigar when I play poker.  What the hell is wrong with me?  Did I mention I also have an urge to shave my head?  Hair is such a pain in the ass.

Is this the fault of those radical women who started this equality shit back during the Revolutionary war?  Would I have been happier shuffling around the kitchen, not a thought in my head about having access to everything that men did?  Especially Scarlett Johansson?  

I'm not sure what the point I am trying to make is...except that I am damn tired of walking past Victoria's Secret and seeing it full of women buying uncomfortable underwear to impress some man.  I am tired of Bratz dolls, and seeing young girls walking through the mall half-naked. I'd like to put Dita Von Teese in a barrel and roll her over Niagra falls. I am tired of the pressure that women are under to be "feminine."  I am feminine!  Why can't we, as a society, except that there are straight women who don't like to wear dresses, and there are straight men who do? 

 

This moment...was not about a woman taking off her shirt, you know?  

Look,   I had my place in the sun.  I'm just sorry I wasted so much of it trying to be pretty, instead of using my "man brain" to take care of myself and not feel guilty about it.  I just hope, that one day, my daughters will feel so fucking worthwhile, that they won't need a man to let them have it all.  They'll simply want a man...or a woman...to be their partner in life.  Not their savior.  And they won't relinquish their dreams to anyone who is willing to let them.  There are too many good people out there, why waste time with the ninnys?  I'm just saying.

Please can we have more women screenwriters and filmmakers?  Please, can we have more movies starring women that don't revolve around shopping, weddings, gossip, and three ways?

  So, on to Vicky, and Cristina and Maria Elena.  If nothing else...I'm sure I'm gonna love Barcelona.

Trailer Battle For Terra

 Battle For Terra is an independent animated film created by a small Animation company called Snoot, a Canadian company way outside the Disney/Pixar stronghold.  No studio, no studio affiliation, no studio support.  The film premiered at the Toronto film festival in 2007 to good reviews.  I am happy to see that Terra has found a distributor, and will be opening in the U.S. in May.  It looks like a great story, and although the animation cannot possibly be up to Pixar standards, I wish this film well.  What it must take to make an animated film in the Independent film world is hard to imagine.  My hat is off to the people at Snoot for seeing it through.